Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize