I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize