My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
