I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
