I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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