i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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