Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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