so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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