I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
