We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
