ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
