I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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