new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
