I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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