Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
