Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
...so i touched it.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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