is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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