Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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