Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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