Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
