I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
