relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
