Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
