and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize