Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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