Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
