theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize