I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Hippo gnu deer
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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