She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
