my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
