it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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