Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We named our party play list daddy issues
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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