She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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