I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
