you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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