He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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