It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Is it because I queefed?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize