I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
