dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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