A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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