she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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