if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
