She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
