I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
