Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
