What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
