just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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