There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
