I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
