So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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