we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
