Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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