ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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