you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
