I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
