dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
