break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Non-Jews are for practice
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
