HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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