so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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